AWKWARD MOMENTS IN NIGERIA

You Know Your Mum is Nigerian
1. When she
scolds you for using your left hand to collect money
from the Atm machine.
2. If she warns you from chasing girls around. Instead of you
facing your studies.
3. If she tells you to repay her for the food you've been eating
since birth - she's like "all the food you have been eating nko?"
when you only asked her to return the money she kept for you
4. If she shakes her head at you while you're leaving the church
just before holy communion
5. If She reminds you how many hours she spent in labour giving
birth to you each time you offend her.
6. If She promises to buy you a gift if you come first is class but
never does.
7. When After shouting from morning to evening , she ends it with "
after you people will say I'm shouting"
8. If she gets to buy already made Gowns for Christmas for you
and threaten to return when you frown because its too big.
9. If She goes to the market and start pricing until the seller starts
crying
10. When She tells your 6-yr-old brother "keep behaving like a
kid, your mate dey give woman belle.
11. When after beating the hell outta your life then she go like "you
want to kill me abi?
12. When each time she reminds you she didn't kill her mother so
you will not kill her.
13. When You ask: Mum, where do I keep the bag? And she
replies: Put
it on my head
14. When she refers anything bad to your enemies and turns it to a
prayer ME : O ti re mi (translation: i am tired)....
MUM: ota e lo ma re. (translation: it is your enemy that will be
tired)
15. When She says that you can drink the coke with a visitor then
beats the hell out of you after the visitor leaves.
16. ME:*Gives mum assignment* ....
MUM:Go and meet your brother ....
ME:You dont even know it ....
MUM: Awon ebi baba e ni olodo. (translation - it is your fathers
relatives that are olodo)
17. When She warns you that as a girl, when you shake a boy's
hand, you'll get pregnant.
18. When She prices just one commodity round 3 stores then, goes
back to the first one to buy. (so Annoying!)
19. When She serves a meal not enough for everyone, claiming her
share is in kitchen. Then she sleeps hungry.
20. When You want to follow her out she says go and wear your
slippers....by the time you are back she's gone.
21. When She never stops using this phrase "YOU THINK YOU
DOING ME? its YOURSELF YOU ARE DOING".
22. When The only thing she doesn't want to hear from you is
'peem'.
23. When She touches hot pot comfortably without a napkin
24. MUM: Shebi am talking to you and you are keeping quiet
ME: But...
MUM: Keep quiet, i'm talking!
Now, how many of you have turned into your mums and now do
this. Confession time anyone?